Monday, June 15, 2009

Take a walk


Go to a nearby park and take a walk. It can be anything from a leisurely stroll to a jog--whatever the mood is. Not only is taking a walk a good time for conversation, it is also good exercise!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Convictions

Discuss any “unusual” convictions either of you have and the reasons behind those convictions. It there a particular type of entertainment that you avoid? Are there things that you have committed to do that your CB doesn’t know about or doesn’t understand? Are there places you won't eat? Activities you think are wrong? Days you hold special? Holidays you don't celebrate? Certain styles of music you don't believe honor God? It is important to be like-minded on issues, particularly ones that deal with personal weaknesses or personal convictions.

Prayer Journal


Start a prayer journal. This can be as formal as once a week having your own couples prayer meeting, and praying faithfully over the petitions and praises every day together, or as casual as simply having a specific place to write down requests and answers as they arise. This will bring unity of spirit, and in the future will also become a special reminder of how God worked in your lives.

Gardening

Plant a garden! If you have a place to plant it and it’s the right time of year, the garden can be a special place for visiting. It doesn’t have to be a large project, even a few plants can spruce up a dreary place. Planting a garden together gives you a hands-on opportunity to work together on something. Do you want veggies, flowers, herbs or a mixture? Where exactly will the garden be? What plants and where should they be planted? Will it be a spring, summer, or fall garden? Who will be responsible for the care of the garden, or will it be shared? There is an added benefit of being able to enjoy the fruits of your labor, whether literally of figuratively, after a few months.

Grandparents

Interview each set of grandparents. Ask them questions about where they came from, what their jobs have been, how they grew up, and (if applicable) when and how they got saved. How did they meet? What hard knocks have they been through? What things do they recommend you avoid? Is there anything they think it is particularly important for a young couple to know? There is much wisdom to be found in grandparents, and they appreciate being included!

Family Reunions

Family reunions are a great way to introduce your “courting buddy” to some extended family (or closer family like grandparents and cousins if they live a long distance). It is also fun to look through family mementos such as old letters, journals or pictures. Not only does this give both of you an idea of where you came from, but sometimes there are some real treasures, whether of a wise or comic nature, to be found in the writings of those who have gone before.

Saturday, June 6, 2009


I've started this blog as a place to journal ideas I have about courting projects. I've found that in the process of courting there are many more ideas I have for relationship building projects and activities than I could ever fit into a single courtship. The goal of this blog is to provide a resource of ideas for those who are also courting (or hope to someday court).

This project was actually started at my father's encouragement. There are a wealth of books out there outlining how a proper courtship ought to be done. Lists of rules and standards are easy to come by. But when my brother started courting, and then two months later I started courting, my family quickly discovered that there is a lack of ideas out there for how to actually conduct a courtship. It's agreed that family activities and a long term perspective make up part of the backbone of a Christ honoring courtship--but how does that play out in actual practice? Join me in discovering the answer to that question!

As a side note, one struggle my brother and I have had since we started courting is what exactly to call our "significant other." Suitor has a nice ring to it but only works for the man, and implies that the relationship isn't "official" yet, because a woman can have more than one suitor. "Significant other" is used by other people to mean other things, so that doesn't work for general usage. Girlfriend or Boyfriend is ok and works for some, but to me it sounds far too casual and changeable. Possibly because half the time I hear the names "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" it's either in the same sentence as "break up," or in reference to a couple who is entirely too young and/or immature to be considering a romantic relationship. "Fiance," on the other hand, goes much too far in the opposite direction! My man and I often call each other "Knight" or "Lady,"which works reasonably well for us due to the way he asked me to court him. Sadly those terms earn us many strange looks during introductions to those who don't know our story. My brother and I were discussing the sad lack of terminology for those of us who have decided to court, and he jokingly said we should just call each other "courting buddies." This, though very tongue in cheek, works surprisingly well. So, if you see the abbreviation CB, it's for Courting Buddy. :-)

(and if you have a better terminology option than Courting Buddy I'd love to hear it!)