Monday, July 13, 2009

Research and Comparison


Choose a topic in the Bible to individually research, then come back together after a week and share what you learned. Be creative with this, there are endless topics available! My Knight and I took a break from our usual Bible Study each week and did a project comparing mercy and truth. We found some very interesting comparisons! To get you started, here are some ideas you can start with:

Biblical love
Mercy and Truth
Christian response to suffering
Submission vs. Headship
Going the extra mile
Wisdom
The fruit of the Spirit
Sexual Purity
Honoring parents
Humility
Forgiveness
Flexibility

This is obviously a very short list of possibilities. I just took about one minute to write down what came to mind. Most of those are things that I've had to work on since I started courting, and at some point you will be challenged in these areas as well. The most important thing in this project is to consider what areas you have already struggled with in your courtship, or expect to be a challenge in the future and learn what the Godly response would be. Don't take any pat answers you've learned in Sunday school--go straight to the Bible and make sure you know what the Bible says.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Affirmation

The last courting project was making a list of things you appreciate about your CB. While the list can be a one time project, remember that pointing out things like this should be a way of life. Make it a daily priority to point out positive traits you see in them. Remember, a primary goal of a Christ centered relationship is to encourage each other to grow more Christlike. Their view of themselves can be warped by the world, peer pressure, failure (whether perceived or actual), and many other things. Make it your goal through loving, gentle affirmations to infuse in them a correct, Christ-like perspective of themselves.

A word to the Ladies who read, one affirmation that is particularly meaningful to your knight is to hear how proud you are of him. When he does something noble or self-sacrificing don't just think to yourself how wonderful he is, tell him how proud that made you. It makes a world of difference to a Knight to know his Lady is proud of him.

To the Knights, it is particularly meaningful to your Lady to be told how much you love her. Don't be afraid of lavishing it on her if you mean every word. One area that women are particularly vulnerable in is the area of looks. Affirm to her that she is beautiful to you--both physically and spiritually.

Remember that the goal of all this is to inspire greater character development and a deeper relationship with Christ. Your words will shape the sort of person your CB becomes.

Lists


Make of a list of things that you appreciate about your CB. Put anything you like on there--make it as long or as short as you choose. List things that you love about them, or ways that you are proud of them. Point out positive character traits that you see, and areas you've observed growth in. You probably can see things in them that other people don't have the opportunity to observe, and certainly will be able to see areas of growth that your CB is unable to observe him/herself. Be generous in your praise.

Ethnic differences


If there are ethnic differences between the two families, capitalize on this! Learn everything you can about the different background. A good way to start is to have a meal together based on the country of origin. Even if your CB is the same ethnicity there could still be some interesting cultural differences to capitalize on. For example, my mother-to-be grew up in Taiwan, so even though my CB has the same ethnic background I do, he grew up with strong Taiwanese influences. It's fun to explore the differences (and experience the different kinds of food)!

Cooperative Family meal


This isn't quite a pot-luck, but similar. Plan a meal for the two families to attend at one of the homes. Choose a main dish that is easy to share--something cold like Hawaiian Haystacks or Mexican Stack is good for the summer, a soup of some sort would be good for colder climates. The key is to use a recipe that is easily divided between the two families. Make a list of the ingredients and have each family bring half.

Another twist would be to simply make sure the base materials are provided (ie. the rice and meat for haystacks, or the chips and meat for Mexican stack) and then leave the other ingredients to each family. This could make for a unique and fun meal!