Wednesday, August 26, 2009


Share any fears that you have. What is your Knight's greatest fear? What is your lady most afraid of? Is it a recognized paranoia? What is the reason behind this fear?

Make sure the atmosphere is comfortable and free from distractions. This conversation needs to be private. That doesn't mean you must be totally alone, of course. Depending on the family it is possible to have such discussions on the couch in the family living room. In other cases it may be necessary to go to the back yard, take a walk together, or step out during a family gathering. Another possibility (and perhaps the easiest logistically) is to talk over the phone, though in person is better if possible.

Also (for those of you who are exhorters) remember that this isn't an opportunity to explain why your CB shouldn't be afraid of whatever they are afraid of. Fears exist, and in order to combat them spiritually they must first be brought to light so the root cause can be understood.

Don't expect to fully discuss this in one sitting. One day let the knight talk, another day let the lady talk. Depending on what fears and reasons there are this could be a very hard conversation. Don't rush it.

Spiritual goals

Sit down together and discuss what your individual spiritual goals are. Talk about both long term and short term. Here are some sample questions:

What are your spiritual goals for the next year?
What are your spiritual goals for the next five years?
What are your spiritual goals for the next ten years?

Do you have any specific scripture memory goals you want to obtain?
What is your time frame for reaching these?

Do you have any specific scripture reading goals?
What is your time frame for reaching these?

In which area(s) of Christian living do you see the most need for growth in your personal life?
(This can include something as "mundane" as cleanliness, so something as "spiritual" as prayer)

Which areas of personal discipline are you working on?
(ie. Solitude with God, fasting, prayer, giving, etc.)

There are many other questions that could be asked, and some of the above may seem redundant. Their purpose is to trigger discussion. It's important to be purposeful about our walk with God, and important to include our CB in that walk.